During this battle, you and your partner are stuck in a never-ending fight. Between all the back and forth, you can’t remember what started this fight. All you know is that you won’t lose it this time. When your partner doesn’t take the trash out last week, you insult them again. What do you think about this?
Arguments can be fun at the time, but they can weaken your relationship. There are a lot of things you should think about if your partner and you fight more and more. Everyone has arguments with their partner at some point. But you don’t want to make it a daily thing.
Why Do Couples Fight?
A small thing could start a fight if you and your partner are always at odds with each other. The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of little things that separate couples. When you’re in a relationship and living together, there are certain things that you need to talk about.
These things can quickly turn into fights. For example: sex, money, housework, children, friends, in-laws, work, time spent together, time spent apart, and commitments.
Want to have a better relationship? While you may not be able to stop people from arguing, there are some ways you can try to cool things down. Let’s look at 10 things you can work on before you fight again.
1. Try To See Things In A Good Way
It’s not all bad news.
He or she cares about the “love.” Most people don’t fight with people who aren’t important to them. Recognize these good things. A problem can be solved if you know what it is and where it started from.
2. You Don’t Always Have To Be Right.
Try to break this habit at least. It is often about convincing our partner that they are wrong, unjust, or unreasonable for not doing what we want them to do. It’s better to ask for what you want instead of getting into a fight about it.
3. Take A Break.
Difficult subjects are hard because they make you feel a lot. When you feel a strong emotion, like anger, find a place to think about things by yourself.
When we have a need that isn’t being met, we don’t feel heard, taken seriously, accepted, or understood, we get angry. When you go back to your partner, think about what you want.
4. Stay On Track.
When it comes to relationships, it’s easy to treat them like a court of law. build a case against our partner.
What is bothering you now? Find a way to ask for what you need without making them feel bad if they don’t give it to you.
5. Talk About How You Feel.
During a fight, you might blame your partner for everything. Instead of focusing on what you think they did wrong, pay attention to how you feel.
Before you say something bad, take a breath.
6. Your Words Don’t Always Have To Kill.
To think about why you want to say the mean thing, take a breath.
It hurts us. We want the other person to be hurt so they can understand how that feels. Using the words I’ve talked about can do that without starting a fight.
7. Remember How Happy You Were.
Negative people might not remember how important their partner is to them.
You can also put in things like good times you have together, moments of intense closeness, and acts of kindness that aren’t asked for. “Use it when things get hard.”
8. Show That You Know Your Partner.
Every story has two sides. Take a look at things from your partner’s point of view, too. The best way to show that you know your partner is to act like them.
Think about what they might want us to do and then do it. The danger here is second-guessing our partner, which could make a fight go on for a long time.
9. Listen To What They Say.
When you think about what you want to say, stop and listen. If you’re not sure, ask questions and pay attention to what people say.
Listening, most of us pay more attention to what we’re going to say next than what’s being said. We also tend to think about whether what’s being said is true when we’re having a hard conversation. In this case, we’re not listening to our partner with the goal of getting to know them.
When you listen to your partner, don’t think about whether their experience is objectively true or valid. It’s just their experience.
10. Consider Having Couples Therapy.
Then again, it could be that if you just can’t stop fighting, you might need help from someone else. When your relationship is full of fights, it’s not easy to put these tips into practice.
Couple therapists can help you have a different outcome to your fights. When they talk about relationships, they have been trained and are very good at it. They will want to help both partners make their relationship the best it can be.